Meditations

42. When you are offended with any man's shameless conduct, immediately ask yourself Is it possible, then, that shameless men should not be in the world?

It is not possible.

Do not, then, require what is impossible.

For this man also is one of those shameless men who must of necessity be in the world.

Let the same considerations be present to your mind in the case of the knave, and the faithless man, and of every man who does wrong in any way.

For at the same time that you do remind yourself that it is impossible that such kind of men should not exist, you will become more kindly disposed towards every one individually.

It is useful to perceive this, too, immediately when the occasion arises, what virtue nature has given to man to oppose to every wrongful act.

For she has given to man, as an antidote against the stupid man, mildness, and against another kind of man some other power.

And in all cases it is possible for you to correct by teaching the man who is gone astray; for every man who errs misses his object and is gone astray.

Besides wherein have you been injured?

For you will find that no one among those against whom you are irritated has done anything by which your mind could be made worse; but that which is evil to you and harmful has its foundation only in the mind.

And what harm is done or what is there strange, if the man who has not been instructed does the acts of an uninstructed man?

Consider whether you should not rather blame yourself because you did not expect such a man to err in such a way.

For you had means given you by your reason to suppose that it was likely that he would commit this error, and yet you have forgotten and are amazed that he has erred.

But most of all when you blame a man as faithless or ungrateful, turn to yourself For the fault is manifestly your own, whether you did trust that a man who had such a disposition would keep his promise, or when conferring your kindness you did not confer it absolutely, nor yet in such way as to have received from your very act all the profit.

For what more do you want when you have done a man a service?

Art you not content that you have done something conformable to your nature, and do you seek to be paid for it?

Just as if the eye demanded a recompense for seeing, or the feet for walking.

For as these members are formed for a particular purpose, and by working according to their several constitutions obtain what is their own; so also as man is formed by nature to acts of benevolence, when he has done anything benevolent or in any other way conducive to the common interest, he has acted conformably to his constitution, and he gets what is his own.